I was correct.  The only thing worse about being 8 months pregnant and sick with two kids is to be sick with three kids.  I can’t take any worthwhile drugs because I’m nursing.  The Pre-School Snots has hit our house once again.  The husband is in worse shape than I.  Asset got sick at 3 weeks old with them.  They have gone through the older two kids twice.  I don’t know if Asset has it again, but she probably will.  I somehow missed round one, but got smacked in round two.  Gatorade powder dissolved in hot water does not taste like TheraFlu.

All I know is when Asset is two years old and whether I’m sick or not, I’m having a huge steaming mug of TheraFlu whether I’m sick or not and a long sleep.  YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMY

It is time for my bi-annual bitch about day light savings time, except I don’t even know what time zone I’m living in right now with 3 kids ages 5 to 2 weeks that it didn’t bother me this time.  I’m screwed up… Q and Four are screwed up… and Asset does whatever she pleases….

SO everyone please have a pleasant night’s sleep for me…. my usual 5 hours is now 3, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I love turtles.  Always have.  Thought I loved Testudo best until we lost power a few nights ago.  Four woke up screaming because his night light was out.  Four is scared of the dark and just got this Turtle for Xmas from his Aunt.  It lights up with Constellations  in your choice of three different colors for 45 minutes and than turns itself off.  I still had to go running into his room to soothe him, but I ended up sleeping on his floor for an hour instead of him in my bed or my 9 mo pregnant self in the top bunk with him <like that could happen>.   No Fearing this Turtle.  Between the Turtle and the Thomas Flashlight - both worth every penny.

Confession… I’m not knocked up. I have had a bad case of mono for 9 months, 27 lb rapid weight gain, and I’m narcoleptic.

Two weeks out from due date and….
I am in a lot of pain. I can’t sit. I can’t stand. I can’t lay on my back. I can’t lay on my stomach. I’ve been laying on my sides, but both my hips are now sore. Soooooooooooo I’m thinking i need to suspend myself if a giant vat of jello for the next two weeks or hang upside down from a trapeze.

First I’m sorry I didn’t keep the letter. It went straight into the trash. I would post it otherwise.

So apparently sometime in the fall or around Christmas I got a letter from the Catholic Church asking me to confirm my info. I don’t recall such a letter, but according to the letter I got last week from Priest What-His-Face I did. The new one last week threatening to “unregister” me and da family unless I confirm my information. I found the letter insulting. The only reason I wrote in big letters “NO CHANGES” and sent it back was because I’m about to give birth. I am going to get this kid dunked in the water by the Catholics because it’s easy to get baptized Catholic as a baby versus as a child or adult.  Then I’m thinking of converting.

So in September, I was up late working and watching Highlander: The Source on Sci Fi. First of all if I can draw Visio’s through it, it’s not a good movie. Highlander is one of my favorite movies. Highlander the Series is one of my favorite shows. You never dared to interrupt me during a new episode of Highlander. The fact that I could work through this movie, is a sign that it was bad.

I’m going to go into spoilers right now… so stop reading if you want to ever watch this.

I was searching through Highlander sites looking for baby name ideas when I read that Highlander: The Source was the first in a trilogy. Ok, lets reflect. Highlander - the original movie ended with Connor MacLeod being “There can be one” and the remaining Immortal. There is no Highlander 2. I refuse to acknowledge it’s existence so lets just end it there. Than there was Highlander 3 where they defrosted Mario Van Peeples - ok I’ll accept its existence. Highlander 4 erases one and three with Duncan MacLeod -a few generations younger “cousin” of Connor -winning the prize and becoming the remaining mortal. I love Duncan MacLeod. Loved Highlander: the Series based on him. Adrian Paul is the only guy with long hair I ever had a thing for. So now we have Highlander: the Source. It erases 1-4. In the first 30 minutes they kill off Joe Dawson - Duncan’s Watcher. I have a huge thing for Joe. HUGE. So now I’m annoyed, but I can understand why there is not a need for a Watcher and I’m still watching and drawing Visio’s. They than kill off Methos toward the end- the oldest known remaining immortal. and also a member of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.  I have a HUGE thing for Methos. I don’t know…. Joe, Methos, Duncan… It was a great show. So Duncan wins and gets to have a child with his girlfriend who is suppose to be his real true love. First, Tessa Noel was his real true love… not whoever this chic was. Second, immortals can’t have kids, so by winning “this prize” he gets to have a kid.

So for the fifth time they have killed off all the immortals… what are they going to do next? They already used the “lets defrost one from the freezer” approach.

Five years ago I filled out paper work to give birth at Reston Hospital.  And one of the questions on the Giving Birthing specific paperwork is the sex of the patient giving birth.  Five years later it is still there, but for some reason I am not comforted by this……….

Nothing says Sunday night like American Gladiators.  Wasn’t it on back in the day around 2ish on a Saturday/Sunday on an independent channel?  Watching it on NBC at prime time (ok I tivo’d it) on the couch with someone special makes the perfect Sunday night.

So I did 90% of my xmas shopping on line. There was only one item that I hunted for - a Thomas the Tank Engine Flashlight. I saw it with one of my neighbor’s kids on Halloween night and knew Four would love it. Four developed a phobia of the dark like his sister and had “borrowed” her flashlight from her which wasn’t going over well. Her flashlight goes off a minute or so when you let go of the button, so I have no problem with them sleeping with it. Little Tikes makes other ones, but they make noise - he has a dinosaur one that growls that he’s deathly afraid of since he was one. The Thomas one Toots a little whistle. He’s not afraid of it and Q would just sleep through it.

So since Halloween I have searched 3 Targets, 1 Kohls, and a Toys R Us in my travels. Beginning of December I gave up and ordered it off the Little Tikes Website. It was sent to my parent’s house who emailed me that my Penguin on a Surf Board had arrived. This was the Monday before Christmas. The invoice and packing slip said Thomas Flashlight, but instead I got a $2.99 penguin. I called Little Tikes customer service and they were like sorry but we can’t get it to you till December 26th. I asked for an expedite since they were the ones who screwed up and it was a Santa gift and they were ruining Christmas for a three year old. I escalated to the Manager on duty. They couldn’t do anything. Oh, but I could keep the $2.99 penguin which would have cost them more for me to send back than it was worth. Did I mention it was a toy for a 9 month old??? and it was so lame, that I wouldn’t have ever bought it… ever?

So I wrote a scathing email to them explaining how I had allowed enough time on my side to get the item, and that just because their order fulfillment system/process had screwed up and wouldn’t do anything to rectify the situation. Used every marketing/inventory term i know, called them Scrooge, told them I would never ever buy another Little Tikes for my kids who were their key demographics, birthday party presents, or neices/nephews, and I was a first time and last time website customer.  I also added how the Penguin was being donated to Toys for Tots so that someone would have a nice Christmas since they ruined a Santa present.  Husband thinks I’m mean.  I don’t really care.

So…. I thought I’d get a response and checked my email most of the day. Turns out they read it and left me a vm at home. Apparently, I had misunderstood “Sorry, you can’t have it.” They were sending it next day to my parents house who promplty opened it to make sure it was a train flashlight versus a surfing penguin.

So am I satisfied? Well, Four absolutely adores the thing. Probably his most used xmas present. He uses it every night and nap. Would I shop at Little Tikes Web site again? Probably not because I’m pretty pissed I had to even deal with this.

Last year it was Snapfish who pissed me off. I did order from them again this year and I got 20 envelopes for the 40 cards I ordered. I think I’m going to prove that I’m not an old dog and can learn this year not to use either site again.

So I was in Reston on Saturday shopping/walking the kids.  I parked between my lines… with space to spare.  I swear I did.  I have to with two kids and my big belly.  I come back to the car and I can’t open the driver side car door let alone get to the door thanks to a New Hampshire Audi.  I had to have Four climb in from the passenger side and than my seven month pregnant self had to climb over the passenger side to the driver’s side and than reach over to the back seat and buckle Four in.  I so wanted to key the car, but I didn’t.  The whole way home I played the “Gone In Sixty Seconds” Sound Track and mumbled “I need to get my tool… that’s not a tool.. that’s a damn brick”  So happy New Year New Hampshire Audi driver.  Your car was not scarred by me.