Somewhere out there, the true evils of consumer profiling have made a horrible horrible mistake.
The first hint of it arrived about a month ago. I received a letter in the mail marked “URGENT! Teacher overpayment notice!” in lots of red ink. “Hmm, this is strange” I thought. Envisioning some call to arms concerning teacher salaries, I opened it up.
I turned out to be something offering to sell me a discount teachers insurance policy, it was special because it was just for teachers, and perfect for working mothers. I figured that somebody had their wires crossed, tore it up, and threw it away.
Now today, I received this email from YahooJobs (which I didn’t register for, but I do have a yahoo account).
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You’ve built an amazing skill set as a teacher. You’re flexible, creative, and know how to educate and inform. Now, AstraZeneca Pharmaceuticals can help you apply these skills to a new career. Our Sales team needs people with your teaching expertise to market and promote our portfolio of some of the world’s most recognized – and most influential – pharmaceutical brands. It’s a proven fact that professionals like you who have spent their career focusing on education excel in Pharmaceutical Sales roles.
To assist you in your career transition, AstraZeneca provides a comprehensive sales and product training program – one of the best in the industry. Plus, you’ll enjoy perks like a car, flexible scheduling, and a Total Rewards package inclusive of competitive compensation and a full range of benefits. We offer a commitment to professional development, and the opportunity to be part of a positive, entrepreneurial environment.
Work for a company consistently recognized for our achievements. Our accolades include:
• AstraZeneca has been named to FORTUNE Magazine's list of "100 Best Companies to Work For in America" in 2007
• One of the "100 Best Employers for Working Mothers" by Working Mother magazine for 5
consecutive years (2002 – 2006)
• Top Employer by Science magazine for 6 consecutive years (2001 – 2006)
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Once, I could consider just a coincidence – but twice? I think I’ve somehow become referenced in the teacher demographics and knowing the internet – I’m sure this information will be shared and marketed until my actual identity is completely obscured by it. Which in the end, may not be too bad a thing at all.
Muahaha, my e-vile master plan is coming to fruition!
Bummer